If we’re being honest

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I’m a big believer in saying what you mean. I come from a culture that prioritizes saving-face and uses passive-aggression to get points across. And even now, I find myself using the phrase, “If we’re being honest…”

At the Metropolitan Museum of Art

I felt out of place by wanting to just be me. Unashamed.

Which is why I’m direct. I’m diplomatic, but I am honest. It’s a good mix of my upbringing and who I want to be. Which is why I want to get real here about accepting yourself. Right where you are. Because I am certain that there are at least a few of you who know exactly what I mean when I say it’s hard to embrace each part of your character.

Self acceptance is a discipline.

My first nature is to be gentle. I’m not interested in fighting if I don’t have to. And while I feel like this is a virtue, you wouldn’t believe the number of people throughout my life who’ve tried to stamp that out. I even had a teacher in first grade who told my parents I needed “lessons in aggression.” I’m sure you can imagine the kind of words exchanged over that one.

But then, there is a part of me that burns bright. When I want something, nothing stops me. And as friends and colleagues will attest, I am not one for easy or lazy answers and will PUSH for more satisfactory results. Close friends will read this part and nod their heads vigorously, because they’ve good and well seen me in action.

I’ve watched people tear themselves apart trying to over-justify this dichotomy in themselves. And heaven knows, I’ve been there too. But in more recent years, I’ve just come to accept that this is how it is with me. I really am both soft and powerful, a flower petal and flame. Not contradictory, just multi-faceted.

What about you? What makes you who you are?

Be encouraged. Your weaknesses can become strengths and vice versa. Learning to accept who you are as God made you is the best step towards growth to make.

In Courage & Care,


One thought on “If we’re being honest

  1. Parker Bauman, Author says:

    I’ve come to terms with my rage against injustice. I have a button, when pushed, is scary. But if you bully folks, especially women and/or immigrants, I will breakayoface. At the same time, I am kind and spend a lot of time in prayer; so I feel that my rage my be a righteous one. Does that make sense?

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